I went to a party and stayed sober. It was easier than expected, despite alternating between warm no-name cola and no-name diet cola mixed with the cold melted water from the ice bucket. I didn't rush out of there, too nervous to settle in. Neither did I stay and feel compelled to control the conversation and guest flow traffic. Instead, I found a chair, sat down, and watched. It felt round and calm, at least until my new best gay friend started tracing my spine with his fingers. His boyfriend shot up out of nowhere, pulling my new best into clean-up duty.

So, apparently, I haven't sacrificed much. I can stay sober and still wonder, "What just happened here?"