tisdag, september 16, 2008

You Dress Your Age; I'll Dress Your Handicap

Today I put a clean soup plate away in the microwave instead of the shelf. Lex and I looked at each other. The end is near.

An article out of Orlando, Florida tells us to be more covered up as we age. Don't go short or bare or tight after 35. It's unseemly, tacky, trashy, sad. What was sad were the outfits they demonstrated as our acceptable alternative. We are now limited to an up to the chin, three-quarter sleeve, below the knee skirt, and a clunky shoe.

As if.

"Tried and true" dressing tips for women of "a certain age:" "Find comfy but stylish shoes." Here's a writing tip. Never use the word "comfy" in the same sentence with "stylish." It sounds wrongly connected, like "the goofy IRS auditor." Or "learn to drape a big scarf," like over our heads, I guess Ms. Jean Patterson means. "Use a full length mirror." Actually, everyone who cares about how they look, regardless of age, should have one.

I have a better tip. Take your partner with you shopping. Buy something that he or she likes. If your big chested, get a great bra; if you are big-ended, find a jacket that comes down below your glutes. Don't rely on the salespeople at the store to be honest with you, unless you have an ongoing relationship or they are willing on your first meet to tell you that something doesn't work. And buy anything you want, even if it is trendy or a little bit trashy. The trick is more in how you fold it into the mix.

2 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

I've been wondering why Diane Keaton insists on performing all her roles in turtlenecks and gloves. Every now and then, I see her without, well, o.k., it's not real life or hi-def, but what? She looks good. Me, on the other hand, I need a nice whiplash car accident thing so I have an excuse to wear a neck brace. No store clerk will help me.

3:12 fm  
Blogger Cate said...

Hi Greg,

She is gorgeous, and true, parts get old, especially necks and hands. But I guess what I didn't say well, was that if you want to cover, do it to give you comfort. Don't do it just because of bad hen advice. Besides, when did Keaton not dress like a JCrew catalog or not wrap herself in layers like a feeder of park birds?

1:52 fm  

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