Taste Good, Looks Like the Back Yard

I rediscovered the Food Network this week, specifically a show on recognizing, buying, and preparing ham. The next morning I went out and bought a huge City Ham, brown mustard, brown sugar, a bottle of bourbon, an anomizer with which to spray the bourbon, and crushed ginger snap cookies. All these items, save the anomizer, were to be packed onto the outside of the poor souless slab after I had burned my fingers removing the skin and fat following a 4 hour slow cook. Ok? Got it? A lot of work. Some pain. An important meal. No cooking intuition at all. Some knife work and two bandaids. Are you with me?

When I took it out of the oven, it looked like a wood chuck rolled up into a basketball. Two of my daughters and I stood around the thing and stared, wondering what the heck it might taste like. I wondered how I would cut it. The youngest walked into the kitchen, peered into the huge pan and offered, "It looks like dirt." The older girls could no longer contain themselves.

Best ham I have ever tasted. Scouts honor. However, a carving knife has gone on the gift list.